Turn Rejection into Redirection

One of the most common fears around the world, is the fear of rejection and ranks close to the fear of change, loneliness and failure. Also, much like change and failure, it is almost certain that at some point or other, everyone will face rejection. This makes it important to teach people two necessary life skills early on in life, first - that rejection, if dealt with a calm mind, can actually be used to reassess situation and make changes to lead into a new direction that might be more lucrative. Second - that treating people around with kindness can lead to much bigger positive ramifications than you think.

Science behind rejection:

Rejection being painful is not merely a metaphor, but a reality. A scientific study has proven that social exclusion, or rejection, activates the same parts in the brain as physical pain. Hence the need to feel included as a part of a social setup is required for aversion of pain. In terms of evolution, it was essential to feel rejection as pain, as social exclusion from a tribe essentially meant you were going to die. Though in present times, the basic needs of food, water and security can be met in a solitary existence, it probably would not be good for emotional and mental health.

Life Skill 1: Rejection to Redirection

Feeling rejected often leaves people disheartened and demotivated. This leads into development of insecurities and low self-esteem, hence impacting any further social interactions, which in turn increases the chances of facing rejection. The only way to break this vicious circle is to have an understanding of self and assess rejections with a calm mind. Rejection will definitely lead to momentary dampening of spirits, but if instead of indulging in harsh self criticism, it leads to a reassessment and reallocation of efforts, rejection will provide as a catalyst for positive change.

Life Skill 2: Treat People with Kindness

The feeling of rejection is not always a result of a major event, small actions such as exclusion, avoidance or coldness can also make people feel rejected. It is important to recognize that every person has a unique backstory and might be more vulnerable than others. While having empathy and a strong connect with everyone seems more complex, the easiest solution to ensure that one does not add to the insecurity of an individual is to approach people with kindness. It will not only decrease the chances of causing unintentional rejection but will also build a more supportive society. Also, choosing to act with kindness impacts the self as well. By opting to not react to a situation, it helps one to cultivate a better mindset that helps in dealing with rejection in a resilient and compassionate way.

To have understanding of self and a control over emotions is easier said than done. But steps, however small, in the right direction will definitely help in the long run. It is futile to think that a rejection will not impact us at all, though it is essential to understand that rejections are an essential part of our lives that provide us with an opportunity to make changes that we might not have though of previously. Efforts towards treating rejection as merely redirection and showing kindness towards others can pave the way for personal growth, stronger social connections and a compassionate environment.